Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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