no, he came in my armpit
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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