I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize