covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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