i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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