I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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