Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
please come you make the beer taste better
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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