its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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