my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize