There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
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Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
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My ass is underappreciated
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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