Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.

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  (708): the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out. http://tfl.nu/g42w
  Replies (38) Good night (638) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.

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  (678): I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time. http://tfl.nu/ogf0
  Replies (57) Good night (1232) Bad night (6693) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My Higher Power is John Stamos

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  (540): My Higher Power is John Stamos http://tfl.nu/1c78
  Replies (11) Good night (2102) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles

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  (706): Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles http://tfl.nu/50ki
  Replies (24) Good night (897) Bad night (3265) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.

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  (334): The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards. http://tfl.nu/c6zk
  Replies (15) Good night (12547) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We shouldn"t be alone together

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you didn"t say that yesterday

  (813): View more from Florida

  you weren't married yesterday

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  (813): We shouldn"t be alone together (606): you didn"t say that yesterday (813): you weren't married yesterday http://tfl.nu/oykj
  Replies (41) Good night (1680) Bad night (8838)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people

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  (231): the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people http://tfl.nu/9os5
  Replies (12) Good night (3888) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.

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  (904): Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men. http://tfl.nu/3bcx
  Replies (8) Good night (701) Bad night (2026)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.

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  (905): Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out. http://tfl.nu/k7xk
  Replies (8) Good night (4511) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?

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  (406): Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom? http://tfl.nu/1vyx
  Replies (10) Good night (546) Bad night (2265)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.

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  (803): She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/t2n2
  Replies (12) Good night (534) Bad night (1267) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Score one for dad.

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  (541): Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job. (503): Score one for dad. http://tfl.nu/kgah
  Replies (6) Good night (1930) Bad night (315)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash

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  (269): We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash http://tfl.nu/cbce
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.

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  (614): when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs. http://tfl.nu/t3w8
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.

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  (520): You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha. http://tfl.nu/0ooa
  Replies (3) Good night (333) Bad night (122) Order T-Shirt

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