Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize