dude i'm inner monologue high
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize