Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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