There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
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I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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