I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize