508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
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You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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