TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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