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You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
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