Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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