I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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