i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
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Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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