youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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