As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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