I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
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She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
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Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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