Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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