that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize