is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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