This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize