My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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