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We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
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