shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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