HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize