I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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