I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize