What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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