I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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