her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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