Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize