i just had sex bonerless
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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