dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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