I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize