Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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