Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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