I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
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I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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