he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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