hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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