I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize