Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
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He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
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Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
that may or may not have been my penis.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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