sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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